A lot of things go wrong in life. Some we can predict, some are unexpected, and some come out of nowhere completely. Too often, we are caught completely off guard in our ability to handle the unexpected. We get overwhelmed and have a mini (or full) meltdown. But there is a better solution.
The ancient Stoic philosophers teach us two invaluable lessons for dealing with unexpected, overwhelming situations:
- Focus and act on what is within your control
- Don’t get too attached to outcomes
Focus and Act on What You Control
The first question we should always ask when an unexpected new input arrives (good or bad) is “What is within my control about this?” Once we have identified that, we can then ask “What can and will I do about that?” These are two critical questions to keeping our heads and a proper perspective when dealing with the unexpected. These are also, essentially, the basic building blocks of Getting Things Done and the most effective productivity systems: what are the desired outcomes and the next actions to move those forward.
Don’t Get Too Attached to Outcomes
The second thing to consider is that we assume certain forgone conclusions too often. Our brains, specifically our prefrontal cortices, are forecasting machines. This is how we plan (and worry!). The problem with the prefrontal cortex, though, is that it has no sense of past, present, or future, so when it identifies a desired outcome, it puts the brain and body into motion to try to make it true. This becomes an issue when things don’t go our way because then we have trouble deviating from or adapting our plan. A better solution is to recognize desired and possible outcomes and prepare, simply, for how to respond to each. This Stoic idea of living in each possible outcome is very powerful. How bad would it really feel if that big thing flopped and failed? How great would that success really feel? This is where the Stoics are often criticized for being “emotionless”. They are really saying to keep your highs and lows in check because things can change quickly.
Overwhelm and unexpected are not going away. They’re probably going to get worse in our hyperconnected, always-on world. But these two ancient ideas of focusing on what you control and not getting too attached to outcomes will eliminate a tremendous amount of the anxiety that the unexpected creates.
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