So much of effective communication is listening first for understanding.
I find one of the hardest parts of leading meetings or finding common ground with prospective clients and partners to be shutting up and listening to the other person. Even more so, remembering to ask probing questions to get to deeper issues and hear what’s not being said.
Throughout history, we see this as a challenge among even the most successful people. We also see that those who master it become the most successful people.
Stephen Covey referred to it in Seven Habits as “begin with the end in mind”. In organizations, we might think of it as understanding the Mission and Vision. Jefferson Fisher in his book The Next Conversation reminds us that “the person we see is not the person we’re talking to”.
The issue is to stop talking and start listening. The goal is to truly understand the other party.
When we do, our responses are more thoughtful and more in line with what the other person is asking or saying. Our work products serving them are more tailored and helpful. And our personal lives and results are more fulfilled and fulfilling.
Seek first to understand and see what is given to you then.
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